2009 was a year of many things, but mostly a year of faith growing experiences. It was a year that when I look back, I knew God had a hand in all of it, although there were times I wondered what exactly his plans were for us.
At the beginning of January, I started the bible study Hebrews, which for those of you who don't know, it is an awesome book of the bible and mostly teaches on faith. I had no clue at the beginning of the study how much our faith was about to be tested. On January 13th (a day before my birthday), Aaron came home early from a road trip, walked through the door, and said "Daddy is going to be on vacation for a while." What!?! He had gotten layed off, and a thousand thoughts ran through my head. Would he be able to find another job? Would I have to go back to work? Would we lose the house? I got myself worked up, but Aaron put all his faith in God, and I decided to follow his lead. No matter how bad it could get, at the end of the day we would still have each other, and that in and of itself is something to be grateful for. It made me reevaluate what I was really putting my faith in...which was material things. I have to confess that I can so easily get wrapped up in material things, and for the first time I handed it over to God, and there was a peace I got that no material item could ever give. Thankfully Aaron got a severance package, that allowed us to live frugally and survive for a while.
The next month in February I found out I was pregnant. What!?! This wasn't suppose to be happening, I didn't plan this. I remember thinking, "Okay God this is not what I really want right now, what is your plan in this?" Despite Aaron's daily hard work on the job search, he still did not have one, and there weren't many opportunities being a wholesaler in the financial industry. I thought to myself what if he doesn't find a job? And then again it was Aaron that sat me down, and brought me back to reality. This was God's plan, and He will provide for us. It happened again, once I truly gave it over to God, there was that peace that came over me, a peace like no other. And a certain verse that I would cling to all year long came to me... "if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20-21
Aaron had several interviews with a very reputable company that we both truly felt was the job God was going to provide for him. After waiting for a few weeks, he finally got the call we were waiting for. But it wasn't the answer we were hoping for. They told him that there was a delay in expanding certain territories and that they felt like they needed to offer the job to an inside person first (because they take care of their people, and she was told that she would be getting a territory), if she didn't want it then he would get the job. What!?! Our health insurance was ending at the end of the month, and we were going to have to fork out big bucks for Cobra. We also couldn't get over the fact that we felt that this was the job for him. So here Aaron was, having to start back at square 1 on the job hunt front, and me questioning God's plan. Well, one week later Aaron got a call back from the company and they offered him the job, the inside person did not want to move to the midwest long term. This WAS God's plan after all. And guess what? We didn't have to pay for one dime of Cobra, didn't have to move, and it was a much better company. --Thank you God!
In June we found out we were having a girl, but we also found out I had complete placenta previa, and a 2 vessel umbilical cord (which could cause birth defects). I found myself praying and giving it over to God once again, and yes you guessed it I got that peace again. I was again reminded of the mustard seed faith verse, and felt like things were going to be okay. I found out a few months later the placenta had moved where it was suppose to, and that everything with the baby's heart and kidneys looked great. Again--Thank you God!
In July my mom had her check-up with her oncologist, and mentioned that her tail bone had been hurting her a little. Of course he was very concerned and ordered a bone scan. We were all concerned as well. A feeling of desperation and fear set over me, and I remember praying to God like crazy, again the mustard seed faith verse came over me. I felt like He was telling me "Just have faith Sarah, trust in me, she is going to be okay." The results of the bone scan came back, she has a little arthritis in her tail bone area and that is all. Thank you God!!
Aaron and I had agreed that Amelia was going to be the first name of our little baby girl. We thought it was a pretty name, but most of all we felt the meaning was right on. The Hebrew meaning of Amelia means "the work of the Lord". We weren't sure what her middle name was going to be, but after evaluating how much our faith in the Lord had grown over the course of several months I had that aha! moment. Her middle name HAS to be faith, and Aaron agreed. So that is the long version of how Amelia Faith came to be known as Amelia Faith.
These were the big moments in 2009 that stand out in my mind as having the biggest impact in the direction of our lives and our faith. Thank you for letting me share.
*As a little side note* After making some tutus for a few people, Aaron convinced me to set up a LLC to cover the bases and allow me to write off business expenses. So I came up with the perfect name for my business ..Mustard Seed. After all, that was the verse that helped me through many of the trials we faced, and it is the verse that I feel really puts a persons faith into a visual perspective. Do you know how big a mustard seed is? It is tiny, and so it should seem so easy to do. But why is it not? I feel like it is hard to truly let go, and give things over to God, but when you are able to finally do so there is a peace that comes over you, a peace like no other.
This week is the beginning of month 2 of this insane exercise program called insanity. I have stuck to it pretty religiously doing it 5-6 times a week with the exception of the recovery week (last week). I was just getting use to the exercises in month 1, and then here comes month 2. It is full of harder/longer exercises and is killing me all over again. But I think it may be worth it. I went down 1 size in my pants, and today I finally found the scale that my loving husband hid from me (yes, Aaron, I found it under the bed this time), I was pleased to see I was 5lbs lighter. *a side note: I know I am not just a number on a scale, but I like to use it as a meter of how I am doing. My husband thought I was getting obsessed with it, so he hid it.* I still have 15lbs to lose, but at least I'm on the right track. The sad thing is, is that I was already down to my regular size, and weight by this time after Avery (my 1st), but this is my 3rd, and I am older. I am determined to get there eventually, hopefully sooner rather than later. You people that lose all your baby weight in no time, without having to work at it make me sick! You know who you are ;o)!!
